Then
by Mia Moretti
Summary: AU, oneshot, songfic. Rated cause of language and mild suggestive themes. / She is just... so tired. This has to end before he finally drives her crazy.


Just a short oneshot songfic that somehow happened last night. Not for InuYasha and Kikyo lovers, can't say I didn't warn you!

AU based.

Song: Anne-Marie - Then

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unfortunatelly.

Normal x _Thoughts_

* * *

 **Then**

She was tired. Tired of the things he did and didn't do, of all the nights she had spend waiting for him while he was out with his friends or worse, with her. _Kikyo._ Catching them in their bed was the last straw. Kagome didn't have any more tears to cry, there was no more anger coming out, nothing. She was just done.  
InuYasha was always like this though, running off whenever he pleased, not paying attention to her pain that grew over the time from tiny tummy aches to a huge heartbreak to the gaping hole she had left now in the place where her heart should be. It felt wrong, it felt like he killed her – sometimes she genuinely thought her heart stopped beating, or that it fell out of her chest.  
But he never cared, no. Why would he? He was his own boss afterall, he never cared about anything but himself, his friends and Kikyo, who apparently was either that good in bed, or who he still held feelings for.

His ex, her cousing who looked so much like her, yet was completely different. She was beautiful, no doubt, long legs, curves to die for, long black tresses and that deep stare that left men thinking about those eyes lower under them.  
Kagome scoffed, catching a sight of herself in a nearby mirror for a second. _So much like me..._ She sighed, running her elegant fingers through her own raven locks that cascaded down her back in gentle waves. She was smaller than Kikyo, almost petite in comparison to her cousin. Her eyes shone brightly with many hues of blue, framed by long dark eyelashes, or used to shine anyway.  
Now they resembled a deep dark void, no emotions, no spark, black circles under them, reminding her of her own tired mind. She wasn't able to sleep properly in days, nightmares always appearing out of nowhere, taunting her, laughing at her, mocking her with voices of her boyfriend and his lover. It was slowly driving her crazy. She couldn't eat, she lost a few pounds, her ribs now dangerously protruding on her pale chest. She could've sworn her hair was falling out more than usual, too. And it was all his fault.

It wasn't like that through all their years together. At the beginning, she was happy, she was her always smiling, happy-go-lucky, bubbly self, she was on a cloud nine. They met in school, she had a major crush on him and when he asked her out, she was more than happy to agree.  
InuYasha was a gentleman at first, he held every door open for her, he looked after her, he bought her flowers. He did all the small things that make a girl happy. He held her during horror movie nights, he cuddled her when it was cold outside. He made her breakfasts in bed, he took her out on dates regularly. She loved him and it seemed he loved her as well. Years went by and she painted their future in bright colors, she thought he would be by her side forever. _I was so naive!  
_

She bit her lip, eyebrows furrowing in a sudden rage. Leaving the mirror, she plopped down on the couch, crossing her arms. He should be home soon, Kikyo worked night shifts afterall. Kagome sighed again, gently pressing against her left temple, trying to calm down the migraine that threatened to grow by every second.  
This was it, she had to tell him about her true emotions, she had to end it.  
She felt like a stupid dog, waiting for his owner day by day, naive and hopeful, even after the said owner kicked it several times. Tears slowly formed in corners of her pretty eyes. They never fell, though.

„Hey babe, I'm home!" she heard him yell, tone of his voice playfull. _He had a good day, huh._ Kagome didn't care that she would ruin all of that soon, not anymore. He deserved more than this talk she was about to have with him.  
She heard him throw his keys on the cabinet, wincing, as she recognized the sound of his dirty sneakers stomping on the plush carpet they had in the hallway. „What's for dinner?" he yelled again, no care in the world. Kagome knew he was hungry, he always came home like that, Kikyo never fed him after their playtime, apparently.  
She bit her lip, thinking about how she was his hotel, more like his mom, not his girlfriend. While Kagome cooked for him, cleaned, washed his clothes, payed their bills, while she was home waiting every day, he would give all his love to her cousin.

InuYasha raised one of his eyebrows as he got no answer from his girl. This was unusual, she would always welcome him with her arms waiting for him, his smile bright, her eyes shining. Oh, how he loved her eyes. Two diamonds, mirroring her little smile on her adorable, soft lips. She was perfect. And yet he still ran away to his ex...  
Of course he felt guilty, he went behind Kagome's back to sleep with her cousin cause he couldn't let go. He was happy with Kagome, he loved her but Kikyo always lured him back and he still had some feelings for her, as well. He was confused, he didn't know who to pick, his heart was torn in two.  
In the end it didn't matter though, he would go to Kikyo and his lovely Kagome would wait for him like a good girl she was, always there, always warm and welcoming, ready to serve him dinner, to serve his every wish. He usually came home tired from Kikyo's, he would get warm dinner from Kagome, then she would prepare his bath and wait for him in bed in her tiny little pj's, ready to massage his whole body, to calm his sore muscles he worked out on her cousin. Oh yes, life was nice. That's why it was confusing not getting any reply, not seeing her welcome him home.  
 _Where is she?_ He finally stumbled upon her tiny form in living room, back turned to him. His ears immediately went to his head, he could smell her tears and anger. The air was heavy around him. _She knows._ „Kagome...?"

She knew he would be confused, it was only natural considering she always welcomed him like he liked. She always had dinner ready, she already showered by then also just so he could have his bath later, so he didn't have to wait. It was different today and she could tell he knew, his voice trembled as he called her name quietly. Kagome would laugh at how pathetic this situation was, if only she wasn't so tired. Slowly getting up, she mentally prepared herself. _This won't be easy.  
_ „InuYasha, we need to talk." she said, steadying her voice, setting her tone to a cold one, something she never used on him before. Her eyes shot up straight to his golden orbs, never moving, unforgiving. This time she wouldn't back down. This time he crossed the line. This time... she was done. And from the look he gave her, he knew.

InuYasha swallowed. The woman standing in front of him did not resemble his girlfriend, no, it was somebody else. It had to be! Her eyes were as unforgiving as a tornado, usually sparkling blue now gloomy, tinged with grey. She resembled Kikyo more than ever now, the look she gave him was grim, something he wasn't used to when it came to her eyes that always reflected happiness. _They always reflected her emotions...  
_ He looked down to his feet for a bit, moving them ever so slowly, like they were made from lead. Once he was close to her, he contemplated saying something, anything that would stop the storm that was about to break out. His voice betrayed him, though. He sat down, catching the lingering warmth of her body that was left on the couch where she sat before. „Kagome, I..." he whispered, not really able to look at her, not able to speak properly, not able to do anything at all. It was all his fault, hearing her out was the least he could do, right? One of his legs started shaking uncontrollably, he was nervous, his blood was running cold.

Kagome watched his every step, his eyes, his every movement. She backed away a little bit as he got near, understanding the silent plea in his eyes. No, this time that puppy look won't work on her. Not ever again. „How is my cousin doing?" she spat as he sat down, noticing his body stiffening as his eyes rose to hers once again. She studied his guilty face, the face she once loved but... that was then.

„No, shut it. Let me speak for once." Kagome quickly silenced him, noticing his lips parting before he could actually speak, fortunatelly. He had this bad habit of interupting people speaking. He was also obsessively headstrong, his ideas were the only thing that mattered, he was always right. She quietly cursed under her breath, letting her eyes wonder for a while, just to clear her mind.  
„I know about you and Kikyo, InuYasha." she stated, rising her hand to silence him once again as he opened his mouth. „I guess I understand, she was your first love, wasn't she? It is said that we can never forget our first lovers." a small, sad smile formed on her shapely lips as she massaged her temples once again.

„But for the past six years I tried to be whatever you wanted. I tried to give you everything you need. You had it good, you know? I knew you went to her but I always waited with my arms open wide anyway. I wanted to make sure you came home to love, thinking maybe someday you would understand and love me back, stay with me..." even though she whispered, the tone of her voice was harsh, cutting into him like a sharp katana would.

InuYasha could only watch. She silenced him twice, something she did for the first time through the years. She always listened to him, even when he rudely interupted her own speech. He couldn't help but wonder why did he let it go so far. Why did he hurt his little miko so much that she turned to this cold icicle, both her eyes and words stabbing him with every move she made.

„I don't think I deserve all this, you know? I was always there, always by your side. I went to every event you wanted me to, even for that party your so-called bros organized, the one when you got so drunk I had to drive your sorry ass home and hold your hair as you puked all over the bathroom, remember?!" of course he did. He never thanked her for that. She even looked after him the day after when he was still sick from the amount of alcohol he consumed that night. She was right, she did her best and he took it for granted.

„I just... wanted to make you happy. That was all there was to my life, to make you happy InuYasha..." her voice wavered as tears threatened to fall again. He noticed, swiftly raising his eyes to her frail frame again, noticing all the pain he caused her written all over her beautiful face. He wanted to scream, to get up and hug her, to take all that pain away and yet... he couldn't. He could only avert his eyes once again, just so he didn't have to see all the heartbreak he caused her.

Kagome collected herself, mentally kicking herself for showing him her weakness. Sighing, she crossed her arms once again, holding herself, preventing her sadness from taking over. Her eyes landed on him once again, taking in his distressed state. He had regret written all over. _Finally._ She thought.  
„Honestly InuYasha, can you even be really happy? You had everything you wanted, I gave you my all! And it still wasn't enough? I'm starting to think that your mind is not... working properly. Maybe some kind of therapy would work, something that would stop you from thinking with your crotch." She spat again, her delicate eyebrows furrowing. All the pain she kept inside for such a long time transformed and kept pouring out from her, purposely trying to hurt him at least a bit, too. No regrets.

„InuYasha, look at me!" she ordered, raising her cold voice and he obeyed obediently, for once. His golden eyes met her stormy scowl. If it was possible his ears would drop from his head from how low he had them. „I need you to understand! I spent so much time for nothing, I pressed myself further everyday just so I could make you content. Maybe... maybe you should try growing up. Maybe getting new friends would help, too?" she suggested, noticing his stare hardening immediately. „Listen, I'm not suggesting you should stop talking to your homeboys completely but... they are not a good influence. Getting high, drinking, cat calling girls... How is that friendship, how is that something that should help your life?!" she pondered aloud.  
Kagome hated those guys, they got stuck in puberty and InuYasha alongside them. He would never give up on them, she knew but with them around all the time he would never really become a functional adult. It was easy for him, his father was a powerful CEO, he had everything he wanted even during his childhood and now, spoiled rotten, he used his father's money as well, never really working, only doing what he wanted to. _Such a child... What was I thinking?_

InuYasha gulped, his emotions forming in his throat like a lump that stopped him from speaking. He felt dizzy, his head was spinning, more and more with every sentence she said. He knew everything she said was true, she always knew better. He remembered the times she quietly plead for him to stop with his reckless life-style, to calm down but he never listened. He should have. Now he was loosing the only person in his life who ever really cared. His cute little Kagome, his soulmate... It was like if he was standing in a fog and she always took his hand and lead him out to safety. Now the only thing he could see in this mist was her shadow slowly disappearing.

He bit down on his lower lip, drawing a bit of blood, trying to make his inner pain vanish with another kind of pain. It didn't work, it actually got even worse as he felt his heart break over and over again as his angel sighed and walked away just to bring him some tissues to wipe the blood away. She was always so carring, even now at the end of line she was there for him, trying to stop him from doing something stupid.  
He never deserved her, really. He blinked as she hoovered over him, gently dabing his lip wound to stop the blood, her eyebrows furrowed with some kind of worry she still held for him.  
He couldn't help but ponder about how stunning she was. Her pale skin glistened with the moonlight coming from the window, her pink soft lips trembled with concentration catching his attention almost immediately. He loved kissing her, tasting every corner of her mouth, of her beautiful body. She was so frail, he always worried he would break her during love-making... He still remembered how he loved her voice calling his name as he pleassured himself selfishly, not really caring about her own needs. She never said anything, even when his inner beast took over and left ugly bitemarks, bruises and scars all over her pretty skin. His eyes clouded a little, she was a goddess and he only realized now when it was all over.

She sighed, gently wiping the blood from the wound on his lip. Why did she still care? Feelings she had for him were dead so maybe out of habit. Being so close, she could feel his eyes travelling up and down her body, probably reminiscing, considering the gloomy hue of yellow. „I know what you're thinking, InuYasha but... it's too late." she whispered and stepped back again once she was content with her work on his lip.  
She sighed again, turning her back to him for a while. „I... really loved you, you know?" she whispered. He could clearly hear the sad smile in her voice, even though she hid her pretty face away from him.

She turned to him soon again. He felt blessed, for a while he could've seen his Kagome, her gentle smile plastered on her gorgeous features. InuYasha felt his guts wrench in his stomach, suddenly reminded of all the good memories he had with her. She was always so gentle, so pure, all-loving angel, his future bride. Yes, he wanted to have future with her, too, he just couldn't let go of Kikyo. He knew Kagome was the one but he wasn't ready and now he regretted it deeply, especially when she spoke again, forming his own thoughts into her words. „You really don't know, what's good for you, do you? You always act so tough, like you're this... this big man! You have all the control in the world, don't you. You know exactly how to boss everyone so they'd break to your will but... this game you play, it can't go on forever and you know it." her smile faded as her eyes studied him knowingly.

His eyes shifted several times as he took it all in, she was right once again. To his knowledge she was the first and only person to see right through him, to see everything he kept hidden, even his own little shenanigans he kept feeding to people around him. Why would she stay, when she knew? Why would she remain by his side after all this for such a long time? He was lucky for those years he could've called her his, oh he was so lucky. Now it seemed like the only good thing he had in his miserable life and it slipped through his claws, too.

Lost in his thoughts, he only realized she brought her suitcases from their bedroom. Stunned, he blinked several times when the realization hit him – she was leaving.  
„I tried to fight your games, I tried to save you, InuYasha." she said, now calm, her face serene, her lips formed into a tiny smile, warm but definitelly not meant for him. „I should have known your fire would win. I... have to save myself now." she nodded her goodbyes as he saw her taking one key from her purse, leaving it on a nearby shelf. She was leaving, for good. Leaving him behind, their memories, everything they had build together through the years, or, she had, to be precise.  
He wanted to scream, he wanted to stop her but his strenght betrayed him. He felt like his life leaving him when he heard the front door click behind her, then when he heard her car. But he knew it was too late, that little smile she had on, that was resignation and peace she had found during the times he was with her cousin or his friends. He should've had payed more attention, he should've cherrished her, should have been with her every moment he could cause now... he was alone. Without her. And he knew he would miss her, every part of her. He would miss a part of his heart and soul. Forever.


End file.
